Physician, Heal Thyself
by dS-Tiff
Summary: Two weeks after the events of the Season 1 finale - Postcards from the Edge - Paige is trying to come to terms with everything and Toby is there to help.


**_Two weeks after the events of the Season 1 finale - Postcards from the Edge - Paige is trying to come to terms with everything and Toby is there to help._**

 ** _This is my first Scorpion fic and I'd really appreciate some feedback. All comments welcome._**

 **PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF**

"Oh for God's sake!" Paige Dineen half exclaimed, half hissed as she threw her pen down onto the desk. The clattering noise of plastic on wood caught the attention of Toby Curtis, who was sitting on the couch, otherwise engrossed in a game on his handheld console.

"Everything OK?" he asked, barely taking his eyes from the five inch square screen as he spoke.

"I just checked the wrong box, that's all," replied Paige, shaking a bottle of correction fluid with more aggression than was necessary.

"Why don't you take a break from all that exciting form filling and, oh, I don't know…go home?" suggested Toby with his usual hint of sarcasm.

"I want to get these done tonight," replied Paige.

"Well there's only twenty minutes of tonight left," Toby pointed out, glancing at the tiny clock in the corner of his screen. "Then it'll be tomorrow morning."

"In that case maybe you should take a break from killing aliens and go home yourself?" suggested Paige with her eyebrows raised.

"I think you mean zombies," retorted Toby. "And I'm on level forty-six. I only have to complete four more levels and I unlock the Super-Acid Booster, there's no way I'm quitting now."

"Then I guess this conversation is over," said Paige, pointedly.

Toby shrugged and returned to his game, but a few minutes later, as he waited for the intro to level forty-eight to play out, he couldn't help but notice Paige sighing and staring despondently at the screen of her laptop. She picked up one of the forms she had been filling out and glanced back at her screen with a frown.

It had been two weeks since the accident and it had affected the whole team more than any of them were prepared to admit. Walter was still recovering and, for reasons even Toby was struggling to understand, he had banned all of them except Cabe from visiting him at the hospital.

Happy was coping by taking her frustrations out on a piece of sheet metal. She claimed she was shaping it into a cowl for the air-con in the garage, one which would make the system more efficient, but it was obvious to everyone that she just wanted to beat the crap out of something.

Sylvester had been busy working on an algorithm – the exact purpose of which eluded Toby - and Toby himself had discovered Killer Zombie World. He couldn't help but feel that Sly's activity of choice had been more productive than his own, but it had been Killer Zombie World or the casino, so two weeks of splatting zombie brains had definitely been the safest option, even if he had completed the game twelve times so far.

Toby looked back at his game.

 _So close ..._

But he couldn't just sit there and ignore his friend any longer. With one last lingering look at the screen he switched off the console, put it on the table in front of him and walked over to Paige's desk.

Paige remained engrossed in her work. She was trying to make it look as though she hadn't noticed his approach, but of course Toby could she tell she had.

 _Hasn't she learnt yet? There's no point trying to fake anything in front of me..._

Toby perched himself on the corner of the desk. She chose to continue ignoring his presence, instead running the fingers of her left hand through her hair and sighing again.

"How are you sleeping?" Toby asked her in a gentle voice.

Finally, Paige had no choice but to look up at him, but her expression was full of disdain.

"I'll take that as a 'How do you think I'm sleeping, you moron', shall I?" offered Toby.

The corners of Paige's mouth twitched into a smile. "I appreciate your concern, I really do, but..."

"Don't tell me you're fine," Toby interrupted her. "Because you're not, none of us are right now."

Paige silently nodded in agreement.

"I can give you something to help, if you want?" suggested Toby. "Just for a couple of nights to kick your natural sleep pattern back into place."

Paige shook her head. "No, I don't want pills," she replied. "I just want to get this finished so I can submit the online paperwork tonight."

"When's the deadline?" asked Toby.

"Er...Friday, I think," replied Paige.

Toby nodded. Then he got up and turned as if he was about to walk away , but before he'd got more than five steps he spun back round with a huge grin on his face.

"That's the correct answer!" he exclaimed. "Congratulations! Paige Dineen, you've won a place in the final and the chance to go for tonight's special star prize!" He pointed at her and winked the cheesiest wink he could muster.

Paige couldn't help but smile as he got into character.

"I'm going to ask you one final question ," he continued. "You have thirty seconds to give me an answer. Do you understand?"

Paige shrugged and let out a chuckle. It looked like she had no choice but to play along. "I guess so," she answered.

"OK, can I have absolute silence from the audience, please," said Toby, glancing over his shoulder at the imaginary crowd. His face became serious. "Earlier, Paige, you correctly told me that the deadline for submission is Friday, but for tonight's star prize...what day is it today?"

Paige rolled her eyes. "I know where you're going with this," she began.

"Clock's tickin g," Toby pointed out, raising his eyebrows to emphasis his point.

Paige shook her head and gave in. "OK, OK, today's Tuesday," she answered.

"Stop the clock!" exclaimed Toby. He put his finger in his ear as if he was listening to instructions. It was a move Paige had seen him do many times before during missions, but this time she knew he had no comms link in there.

"Did I win?" she asked.

"Paige Dineen," began Toby. "You answered Tuesday...and the correct answer is...extended dramatic pause here..."

Paige giggled.

"Tuesday!" said Toby finally. "Congratulations!" He threw his arms in the air in an overdramatic gesture of celebration.

"I get it," Paige pointed out. "I still have two more days to finish and I don't have to stay here all night after all."

Suddenly the game show host persona was gone and Toby's face was serious again. "Exactly," he said. "Walter wouldn't want you to run yourself into the ground like this," he added, knowing full well that the mention of Walter O'Brien would hit a nerve.

Paige scowled at him. "I'm not doing this for Walter," she snapped.

"I beg to differ," replied Toby, silently acknowledging his success.

Paige sighed, she wasn't in the mood for an argument. "So, what did I win?" she asked, forcing a small smile onto her lips.

"Huh?" asked Toby, momentarily confused.

"The special star prize?" she prompted.

"Oh, right..." Toby thought for a moment, then suddenly the cheesy grin was back as an idea hit him. "Paige Dineen, you've won an all-expenses paid trip to...the couch!" He walked round to her side of the desk and pulled her chair back, grabbing her by the shoulders and hauling her to her feet.

Paige was too tired to put up any resistance and Toby felt her relax a little into his clutches.

"And," he continued as he walked her over to the couch. "One completely free therapy session with the greatest psychiatrist in the world!"

Paige slumped down on the couch. "Oh great," she said. "When's he getting here?"

"Hey, I do the sarcasm around here," said Toby, dryly.

Paige laughed. "I'm sorry," she said. "Look, I know you're only trying to help, but I don't need therapy, I just need to go home and get some sleep."

"Everyone needs therapy," Toby pointed out.

"Even the therapists?" offered Paige.

Toby frowned at her. "Let's just start with you, shall we?"

Paige sighed and Toby knew he had her. "OK," she said quietly.

"Great," he replied and he sat himself down on the couch next to her, tucking his left leg under himself and twisting around so he was facing her. "So, tell me how you feel about what happened."

"The accident, you mean?"

"I would say that's a pretty good place to start," he noted.

"I don't really need to tell you how I feel," said Paige. "You already know."

"Well, it's true you're throwing out just about every guilt marker in the book," he admitted, "but I believe this works better if you do most of the talking."

Paige nodded. "Well, you're right, of course…" she began.

"Of course."

Paige scowled at his smug interruption. "What happened to Walter is all my fault," she continued.

"That's not what I said," Toby pointed out. "I said you're feeling guilty about the accident, I didn't say it was your fault."

"But Walter only got into that stupid car because I was leaving," she said.

"Do you believe you were the only reason?" asked Toby, tilting his head a little to one side.

Paige shrugged. "I guess there was his fight with Cabe," she admitted.

Toby nodded. "Exactly. Walter is a highly intelligent adult, capable of making his own decisions," he said. "It was his choice to get into that car and drive like a moron."

"I…I guess," said Paige quietly, sounding entirely unconvinced.

"You know, your anxiety levels are higher than Sylvester's right now," said Toby, nodding towards her hands, which she had twisted tightly together in her lap. "I've not seen knuckles as white as that since I was two cards away from cleaning out Jimmy Bellini."

"I don't want to know who Jimmy Bellini is, do I?" Paige asked and Toby shook his head. She looked down at her hands and recoiled slightly at the sight. "I guess you're making me nervous," she said.

"Not me," replied Toby, knowingly. "Now take a deep breath and relax," he instructed. "Doctor's orders."

Paige did as she was told. "It's just…the longer Walter's in the hospital…I just want him back. I mean, I just want things to get back to normal."

Toby narrowed his eyes slightly and studied her for a second. "But you're scared things won't ever be the same again," he said. "You're confused about your feelings for him and you think…"

"Hey, I thought you said I was supposed to tell you how I feel," Paige interrupted him. "Not the other way around."

"You're right, I did say that," he answered her. "I just can't help myself sometimes. I'm right though, am I not?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"But you don't regret staying," stated Toby.

"You're doing it again, Toby!" Paige managed a small smile as she spoke. "But you're right… again… I'm glad things worked out this way. I don't mean that I'm glad Walter got into that accident, but I'm so relieved that I didn't leave after all. I don't know what I was thinking?"

"You were trying to protect Ralph," Toby said.

"By taking him away from here? From Walter and you guys, the only people who understand him?" Paige sat forward now and became more animated. "It was a crazy idea! Ralph needs to be here, he needs Scorpion. I don't know why I thought I could take him away from all of this?"

"Because you knew that things were about to get ugly," replied Toby.

Paige looked confused. "Walter and Cabe, you mean?"

Toby nodded. "Did you really want Ralph to be around to watch while the team imploded?"

"Do you think it would have come to that?" asked Paige, her voice wavering.

"Duh!" replied Toby with wide eyes. "Despite what Walter seemed to think, we'd be nothing without Cabe. Do you really think the rest of us could have gone back to fixing wi-fi and coffee machines?"

Paige shook her head. "I guess not. Not now."

"We all need Scorpion intact if we're going to survive," continued Toby. "And that includes you and Ralph. If Cabe had walked out of Walter's life for a second time…" Toby left the sentence there, allowing Paige to mentally fill in the details.

Paige nodded slowly and shuddered a little. "Leaving here, taking Ralph, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life," she said.

"I'm glad you stayed," smiled Toby. "And so is Walter," he added, knowingly.

"Do you think so?" asked Paige, looking nervous again. "After what I said to him?"

"He needed to hear it," Toby pointed out. "He listens to you."

"I was so mad at him for the way he treated Cabe," she said. "People's lives were at stake and all he could think about was fighting over something that happened years ago."

"And did that alter the way you thought about him?" asked Toby.

Paige shrugged. "A little, maybe," she replied. "But not really in a bad way, just in a…" she trailed off.

"In a 'he needs me' way?" offered Toby.

Paige nodded and felt her cheeks flush. "Yes," she acknowledged. "So what kind of a friend am I? I knew he needed me… needed us, the team… and yet I was prepared to leave."

"You thought you were doing the right thing for Ralph," said Toby. "That makes you a good mother."

"I try to be," acknowledged Paige. "But it's not easy."

"Life's not easy," Toby pointed out.

"I can't imagine my life without him," said Paige.

"Ralph, or Walter?"

Paige gasped a little. Even now it still surprised her just how good Toby was at knowing what she was thinking, often before she knew it herself. "Without all of you guys," she clarified.

"And Walter feels the same way," noted Toby.

"Walter doesn't have feelings," Paige reminded him.

"Oh yeah, and I don't have self-destructive tendencies and an addictive personality," replied Toby, sarcastically.

Paige looked him straight in the eye. "I'm scared, Toby," she said seriously. "What if we can't fix this? Cabe told me once that I'm the glue that holds the team together," said Paige. "But I came that close to failing… to letting you all down… and I still don't know if I can… if I can…" she trailed off and bit down hard on her lower lip in a desperate attempt to stop the tears. It didn't work.

"Hey," said Toby gently, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder supportively. "Cabe was right and you haven't let us down. We're gonna be fine, you'll see. We've disarmed nuclear weapons, we're not gonna let ourselves be beaten by a bunch of emotional crap."

Paige laughed at his choice of words and wiped away her tears with the knuckle of her index finger. "But the emotional crap is important," she said and then let out a long, slow breath as she regained her composure.

"It is," agreed Toby. "But we're all so much better at it since we met you. I mean, I know I'm less obnoxious," he added with a grin.

Paige laughed again. "Well, a little, perhaps," she conceded. "Thank you," she said earnestly. "I don't know if I made much sense, but thank you for making me talk. I guess I needed to."

"Anytime," replied Toby. Then he suddenly leapt to his feet and crossed to the desk. Paige looked puzzled as he opened a drawer and produced a pad of paper and grabbed a pen. "I'm writing you a prescription," he said, scribbling on the paper.

"No, I told you, I don't want sleeping pills," Paige replied, frowning at him.

Toby shook his head and hurried back towards her. He presented her with the paper and stayed on his feet while Paige read it.

"One tub of strawberry ice-cream," she began and her frown was replaced by a smile. "And a sappy Julia Roberts movie." Her smile faltered and she looked at him for an explanation.

"You've put up more barriers than a construction site," Toby explained. "Self-preservation is a perfectly natural reaction in a situation like this. You're trying to stop yourself from getting hurt, but you just showed me a glimpse of what you're holding back and holding back – to quote the love of my life – is not good."

"I know," nodded Paige. She took a deep breath and got to her feet, clutching Toby's 'prescription' tightly. "And if I do this? If I cry like a baby into a tub of Ben and Jerry's, what's the prognosis, Doctor Curtis?"

"I calculate the odds of a full recovery at one hundred percent," grinned Toby.

"I'll take those odds," smiled Paige and she leaned in and gave him a hug.

"Twenty bucks?" suggested Toby, hopefully, but he was rewarded with a slap on the arm. "What is it with you women?" he asked with a pained expression. "You hug me, you hit me… no wonder I'm so messed up!"

Paige laughed and rolled her eyes. "Goodnight, Toby," she said and she picked up her bag and walked out of the garage.

Toby sighed and glanced over at his games console. He was exhausted, but he hadn't been sleeping either and the thought of going home to an empty apartment and lying in bed, wishing Happy was there beside him, was too much to take on top of his own feelings of trepidation about Walter's impending return. "Physician, heal thyself," he muttered under his breath and let out a sigh. He picked up his hat and put it on his head. "OK, Killer Zombies," he said with determination. "The Doc's in the house, prepare to die!"

THE END.


End file.
